With the help of my padded bra and padded shorts, I am able to give the illusion of some female curves or to put it another way, “tits and ass”. Because they are just padding though, they don’t move like the real thing, there’s no jiggle or squish.
I was traveling in London today and so was surrounded by many more women than I would normally see, which has made me feel more envious of what I don’t have.
There was a woman on the train wearing a black stretchy ribbed dress that is similar in shape and style to one I have. Her hips and waist and the shape of her bottom were so very feminine. I would love to have a shape like hers. Maybe by taking feminising hormones, I would be able to have a more rounded and feminine bottom, although I can’t have the hips as that is fixed by my bone structure.
There was another woman at the station wearing leggings and again, I was envious of the shape of her thighs, her round bottom and the curve of her tummy. Through feminisation I could have thighs and bottom, although having no womb, the lower belly curve can never be.
Having always thought mainly about feminising hormones in terms of breast development, I hadn’t focused so much on the other benefits to my body shape from the fat redistribution around my thighs and bottom. This is just as important to looking and feeling feminine. It is an essential part of the female body shape, not just for leggings and clingy dresses, but also for trousers and jeans and how they sit on the body. Every woman I saw today was making me more aware of what I don’t have.
Of course I also can’t wear leggings, tight trousers or clingy skirts and dresses because of what I do have down there, and the horrible unsightly bulge. With tight shapewear and tights, I can hide it enough for most of my clothes, but not sufficiently to wear leggings or stretch trousers. There were a lot of women dressed that way today. Leggings are most flattering when they are just below the crotch and so not in contact with the body, or if they are, if the leggings plus underwear are thick enough to be smooth and avoid the dreaded “camel toe”. Not what you want, but obviously better than the shape of what I have.
Not that I want to go around in leggings or Lycra trousers all the time, but I would like to sometimes and I currently can’t. It would be so lovely to not have male genitalia and to not have to tuck them away and try to hide them. It would be lovely to have female parts, and when I put on knickers, they fit right and lie smoothly over a little mound, not stretched over things that don’t belong there.
I know that the surgery is a big deal in terms of recovery and aftercare, but to be able to feel complete as a woman, it would be worth all the pain and discomfort and the ongoing maintenance.
I may never have sex of any kind, and almost certainly will never want to do it with a man, so you have to question whether it is worth it, but I think that every day putting on underwear and feeling right is worth it. I would be able to wear leggings, yoga pants, stretchy trousers and skirts. I would be able to wear a swimsuit or bikini and go swimming. I can’t do any of those things with the body parts that I have.
It is about so much more than clothes though. I really truly wish for a female body.
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