Skip to main content

19 Oct 2025 - shaving

Now that shorts season is behind us, and my legs will be hidden by trousers for the next six months, I am free to shave my legs. 

I had a brief window of opportunity when my wife was out to get the clippers out and remove the long hair from my legs, chest and tummy. Unfortunately I can’t reach my back to do that, but can do my shoulders at least. And when I say clippers, I mean the dog grooming clippers, which I have found to be the best thing for clearing leg and body hair growth. Lucky I never balded the dog, because they’re pretty effective. 

Seeing myself hairless is lovely. My legs go from male to female instantly and I love it. Hair definitely triggers some dysphoria. It will be easier to wear tights when I next get the chance to go out dressed female. Plus, tights will feel nicer to wear too. 

Looking at myself in the mirror wearing a crop top and matching knickers with no body hair and shaven legs, I felt so much more feminine. If it weren’t for the unsightly shape in the knickers, and having  a little bit of fat on my tummy, I would feel happy with my body. Actually, even though I have no breasts, I like how I look, except for the front of my underwear. Turning around, I like my bum in knickers, although now my hairy back is horrible. 

If I had hormones, so my bottom and thighs had a more feminine appearance, and I could develop breasts, and hair removal all over my body and back, and less arm hair through the hormones, and laser hair removal on my face and long hair and fuller cheeks and genital surgery…so quite a lot of things, then I think I would feel good about myself. 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

27 May 26 - does my brain actually have a “girl mode”?

As I keep reflecting on my night out as Nicola last week there are a lot of questions and ideas that are swirling around in my head.  One is, whether my brain has a “girl mode”, because I felt so different and behaved in ways that were unfamiliar to me.  The really distinct difference in how I felt this time was that I didn’t feel like I was a man in a dress at all, I just felt like me. I remember thinking that this is what it is like to be “inhabiting womanhood”. Evidently I have ridiculously pretentious notions after a few drinks, but it was what I was feeling. This is what it is like to actually be a woman. Less pretentious.  An odd thing, but one which does make me wonder if my brain has some kind of “switch”, is that I looked at women differently. I am exclusively attracted to women and I am attracted to boobs and bums as much as the next man (cringe at associating with being a man). I know it is impolite to stare at a woman’s chest, and I make a conscious effort no...
Post a Comment
Read more

21 May 2026 - a night out

Having a night on my own in London, I wanted to go out presenting female and get some more “real life experience”.  I had drinks and dinner with some colleagues early evening and to be honest had already had too much wine before I went out later by myself. This probably helped my confidence, although not my coordination with nail polish and mascara, which were a bit slapdash to say the least.  I remember last year getting in a lift in the hotel in a dress ready to go out, and being self conscious of people staring at me. This time, didn’t give it a thought. Likewise going into the underground and being on the train with other people. I didn’t notice if anyone looked at me and nor did I care. I was just me being me and wearing a skirt didn’t feel like a Thing, I wasn’t conscious of my clothes at all.  Similarly walking through a busy Soho to the bar, I just felt like I normally do walking around town.  Got to She Soho. Amazingly the bouncer asked me for ID. I’m 51...
Post a Comment
Read more

31 Dec 25 - reflecting on the past year

I could see 2025 as a failure.  After all, I started the year with the intention to begin my transition. I still haven’t started.  I made initial contact with the endocrinologist clinic about feminising hormone therapy, but then didn’t progress that at all as soon as I encountered the blood test hurdle.  Here at the beginning of 2026, I am no closer to living as a woman than I was at the beginning of 2025. I have not come out to anyone, I don’t have a hormone prescription, my body is still male, my presentation is still full time male, everyone still knows me only as my male name.  Has the longing to be a woman gone away because I haven’t done anything about it? No. Obviously.  Although I have not begun transitioning, I have achieved a couple of things this year.  One is that I survived my wife catching me out and finding a pair of knickers that I had forgotten to hide. It was awful, and she was terribly upset, but I got through it and that is somethi...
Post a Comment
Read more