Skip to main content

15 Mar 25 - normalised the things that help me to feel feminine

I have really now normalised wearing female underwear every day, only ever using the loo seated and now also wearing a crop top or first bra every day. I have been wearing the crop tops every weekend day for a long time, but I have now made it part of my routine to change into one at the end of the working day when I get home and change. So each week that is now two full days and three to four hours every night, so it has become normalised for me, like the underwear and I am becoming less aware of the sensation of the band around my chest. I’m also changing into a nightdress for bed every night which has again become normal for me. 

It is nice that I am able to do all these small things for myself to help me to feel feminine but none of them are real progress. For me to really become feminine, I am going to have to get on hormones and make actual changes to my body. That means organising the blood tests and then booking the appointment, which itself is difficult due to the refusal of my GP to help. Before any of that though, I need to help my wife to understand and get on board with me doing any of this. 

This is where my courage usually fails me and why nothing has happened. This weekend I have the excuse of our son coming to visit so I can’t possibly bring up the subject. But that is just making excuses. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

5 May 25 - living a lie

I’m wearing a soft crop top and Brazilian knickers under my male clothes today and it’s the first time   I’ve done so since my wife found out about my underwear.   I did wear some knickers last weekend for a day, which was nice but this is the first time I have had the crop top too.  Considering that I was wearing the underwear full time and the crop tops every weekday evening and all weekends for the previous month, this has been a big gap.  I have really been craving the feeling of a bra or crop top. That stretchy tightness of the band around my chest and the straps over my shoulders. It is such a relief to have one on now.  Because I’m a bit scared about getting caught out again I have only worn the soft crop top as that is least visible under my clothes. The more structured crop top has bra straps which are a bit more noticeable so although I really want to wear that, it felt a bit too risky.  This is so rubbish that I have to hide who I really am ...

23 Sep 2025 - a handbag?

I have not been out presenting female in public for about six months which is a long time.   The last time was my trip to London when I went out to the bar and dinner, which felt great, and to breakfast in the hotel which was less successful. At that time, I felt confident and like I could do this.   Following my wife catching me out with some of my underwear, I cut my hair, put away my clothes and didn’t do anything for a while. It seems my confidence got lost in that too, because when I started thinking about going out dressed again, I felt really nervous about it.  Probably doesn’t help that the anti-trans lobby had successes during this time and it feels a less safe thing to be doing now than it did six months ago.  Whatever the reason, I was pretty scared this time.  The biggest mental hurdle is around changing from male to female clothing, as I have to leave the office and arrive at the mall in male clothing, then be back in male clothing to go home so...

4 Mar 25 - first time out at a queer bar

I can’t believe I’m doing this but I have left the hotel in a dress and full makeup and walked half an hour through central London to Soho and my first ever queer bar, She Soho, a lesbian bar and man-free zone. Unfortunately no mobile reception to share with friends. Have logged on to the wifi but that doesn’t work. Ok, so how do I feel? Lonely!  There are two groups of friends and a couple.  The chat is pretty loud and I’m sitting by myself which is a bit tragic.  But, the point is, I am out in public as openly dressed and made up as I have ever been. That on its own is awesome!  I have never done this before! To be fair to myself, if I was in a normal bar and dressed as a man, I wouldn’t be talking to anyone either, so maybe that is not something I should be stressing about. Why would I imagine that being in a dress is suddenly going to make me capable of socialising and speaking with strangers?   The music is pretty cool. The beer isn’t that good, and really ...