I had a brief opportunity to go out en femme at the Mall as I had a meeting nearby for work.
Unfortunately due to traffic, there was not as much time as I had hoped for and once I had changed, I only had about twenty minutes out as a woman. Also, I discovered that although the place opens at 9, many of the shops don’t open until later.
I had been planning to visit New Look for some more bodysuits and H&M for some tops and to see what skirts they had, but both were still closed. Weirdly Ann Summers was open, because that’s the sort of thing that you need to be able to buy early in the day? Marks and Spencer were open so that was where I headed.
The usual toilet that I use to change (a disabled gender neutral space that is out of the way and no one seems to go near) was still being cleaned so I had to go to the main toilets in the centre of the Mall. That is fine, but it is quite a big place and walking there and back to M&S wasted a few minutes of my already short time.
I had swapped shoes before coming in, as carrying my male shoes around is not ideal as they are quite large and don’t squash into a bag like my ballerinas do. Some man did clock my female footwear and male clothes as I was on my way to change and gave me a strange look. Whatever, I don’t care what he thought.
Out into the concourse, I was wearing black tights, an a-line miniskirt and a tight long-sleeved bodysuit over my most padded bra, with a cardigan but not zipped up. Do I pass? Probably not. Am I unambiguously dressed as a woman and not hiding myself in any way? Absolutely. It’s a bit of a strange feeling walking around, as I don’t really want people to notice me, and for them to just see a woman going past, but also I do want people to notice me, because that is the test I am trying to put myself through. The place wasn’t at all busy at that time of morning so not many people saw me either way.
I had a browse around Marks and Spencer and chose a long-sleeved t-shirt with a low neckline. I think my arms are a problem for passing as they’re a little large for a woman and hairy (although I can remove that obviously) so long sleeve tops are better for me, and I have found that a low neckline makes a huge difference in my looking feminine. All my long sleeve tops are high neck and my scoop neck bodysuit is short sleeve, so this new top solves that.
I also got some more knickers as I am running out of clean pairs and not sure I’ll have the opportunity for secret laundry this weekend. I got bikini style, which is the best compromise between looking really feminine and comfort with my anatomy.
They have recently introduced a supportive vest into their teen/first bra range which I thought might be an option to wear under shirts if I am going to start hormones next year and will have a time when I might have breast budding but not be out at work. Having had a look at them though, they are too short and won’t work for me. Maybe 6’3” is not an average height for a young girl, who knew? So I think I will have to go with crop tops but the problem with them is M&S do sets where they are all colourful and I can’t hide a navy blue crop top under a white shirt. White or pale pink, maybe. I don’t know why they don’t do them in flesh tones like all of their other lingerie.
So I paid for my t-shirt and knickers, went back and quickly changed then off to my meeting.
It was fine but too short and not really a “real life experience” but better than nothing.
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