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1 Sep 24 - discovering a useful podcast

Another week and nothing much has happened as regards to my gender and having been busy with work again, my thinking capacity available to think about it has been reduced. 

I wonder whether it getting pushed to the back of my mind when I have other stuff to focus on means it’s less real. Is it just something I day dream about when idle? 

I have, thanks to Dee for the recommendation, been listening to a great podcast called Straight Wife Trans Life. It’s by the wife of a trans woman and she talks about the first year after her then husband came out to her. She is really calm and considered in her delivery and is supportive of her spouse and the trans community. I think it would be a good idea to introduce this to my wife at some point to give her a possible future vision where spouses can make it work, from the cis wife’s perspective.  I suppose it has done that for me too, shown me that there is a way through that could work out for both of us. This matters because one of the big barriers to transition in my mind is that it is really selfish to put myself first in that way and therefore if I can go on without transitioning, I should, for the sake of others. Obviously I know that is wrong and I should live my life and put myself first because I only have one chance. But it is still how I feel. Being able to see that I could be selfish and it could be fine for my family, that is a positive.

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