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8th February - wanting to come out to someone at work

Today was a better day, as I was back in my normal office with my team.  We have all worked closely together for a while and I can be myself with them, none of the needing to pretend that I have going to the other offices.  Not to the point that I can come to the office in a skirt obviously, and none of them know anything about me being trans, but I can behave as myself and relax.  The culture in our team is quite feminised, we're all very supportive of one another and there isn't ego or competitiveness involved like there seems to be in the other teams that are run by men. 

I had a meeting with one of the team to talk about how we run things and we collaborated to find a solution that we think might work, which was a good session.  

We then got talking about what I want to do with my career and whether I devote all my efforts to this team, or push for a firmwide leadership role.  I remain undecided on this, and we touched on how there are choices to be made and that to do one means giving up the other.  

The thing I could allude to but not mention of course, was that I also have to decide which "me" is doing these things, and work out whether it is possible to do either as Nicola, or if one or the other would be closed off once I reveal my true self.  

I trust her and I know for sure that she would support me, so I really wanted to tell her the truth about me.  

I didn't, but when I'm ready, I know that she will be the first person I do tell at work.  

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