Skip to main content

8th February - wanting to come out to someone at work

Today was a better day, as I was back in my normal office with my team.  We have all worked closely together for a while and I can be myself with them, none of the needing to pretend that I have going to the other offices.  Not to the point that I can come to the office in a skirt obviously, and none of them know anything about me being trans, but I can behave as myself and relax.  The culture in our team is quite feminised, we're all very supportive of one another and there isn't ego or competitiveness involved like there seems to be in the other teams that are run by men. 

I had a meeting with one of the team to talk about how we run things and we collaborated to find a solution that we think might work, which was a good session.  

We then got talking about what I want to do with my career and whether I devote all my efforts to this team, or push for a firmwide leadership role.  I remain undecided on this, and we touched on how there are choices to be made and that to do one means giving up the other.  

The thing I could allude to but not mention of course, was that I also have to decide which "me" is doing these things, and work out whether it is possible to do either as Nicola, or if one or the other would be closed off once I reveal my true self.  

I trust her and I know for sure that she would support me, so I really wanted to tell her the truth about me.  

I didn't, but when I'm ready, I know that she will be the first person I do tell at work.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

23 Sep 2025 - a handbag?

I have not been out presenting female in public for about six months which is a long time.   The last time was my trip to London when I went out to the bar and dinner, which felt great, and to breakfast in the hotel which was less successful. At that time, I felt confident and like I could do this.   Following my wife catching me out with some of my underwear, I cut my hair, put away my clothes and didn’t do anything for a while. It seems my confidence got lost in that too, because when I started thinking about going out dressed again, I felt really nervous about it.  Probably doesn’t help that the anti-trans lobby had successes during this time and it feels a less safe thing to be doing now than it did six months ago.  Whatever the reason, I was pretty scared this time.  The biggest mental hurdle is around changing from male to female clothing, as I have to leave the office and arrive at the mall in male clothing, then be back in male clothing to go home so...
Post a Comment
Read more

4 Mar 25 - first time out at a queer bar

I can’t believe I’m doing this but I have left the hotel in a dress and full makeup and walked half an hour through central London to Soho and my first ever queer bar, She Soho, a lesbian bar and man-free zone. Unfortunately no mobile reception to share with friends. Have logged on to the wifi but that doesn’t work. Ok, so how do I feel? Lonely!  There are two groups of friends and a couple.  The chat is pretty loud and I’m sitting by myself which is a bit tragic.  But, the point is, I am out in public as openly dressed and made up as I have ever been. That on its own is awesome!  I have never done this before! To be fair to myself, if I was in a normal bar and dressed as a man, I wouldn’t be talking to anyone either, so maybe that is not something I should be stressing about. Why would I imagine that being in a dress is suddenly going to make me capable of socialising and speaking with strangers?   The music is pretty cool. The beer isn’t that good, and really ...
Post a Comment
Read more

6 Mar 25 - visibly trans at breakfast is more challenging

I was unsure whether to do this, but in the end thought “what the hell, why not try”.  Went to breakfast in the hotel wearing a dress, the same outfit I had worn to the queer bar.  This felt so much more exposing and uncomfortable than the queer bar or dinner.  It was daylight, crowded, a mix of work trips and families and a man in a dress in that environment is completely incongruous.  It may have been better if I had a different outfit, but I had only taken the one dress with me. It is probably a bit more “night out” than breakfast.   Staff were fine, and most people ignored me or didn’t notice. One little girl stared and a middle aged fat man actually walked away rather than stand next to me at the buffet. Hilarious.  Going back up to my room, there was a young couple who clocked me and I heard them comment. Then we got in the lift and she couldn’t stop giggling. Rude! Then two families got in the lift. It’s really hard to hide and be inconspicuous in a ...
Post a Comment
Read more