After my post yesterday about trying to find an opening to talk to my wife and the idea of dropping it into conversation in the context of chatting about a TV advertisement, I received some good advice from Lila (if you don’t know @Lila_Satori you really should!).
She said, very sensibly, that changing your life in a huge way is not something to drop casually into conversation and that if something is a big deal, you have to sit down and talk about it like the big deal that it is.
I can’t argue with that. Big things deserve proper consideration.
I suppose that I think that if I downplay it and am really casual about announcing it, my wife might not see it as such a big deal.
That’s not very likely to work though is it?
It is a big thing however I introduce it to conversation.
Although then I start wondering why it is such a big deal to want to change gender?
There is no real difference in saying to my wife “I think I might order these trousers” compared to “I think I might order this skirt”. It’s just clothing that performs a function.
Taking the logic to extremes, is there really that much of a difference between taking hormones to develop breasts and, say getting a piercing or a tattoo? Not that I’m into either of those, but doing things to your body to change how you look and feel is not that unusual. So why is feminising it so very different?
Whatever I choose to wear, whatever I choose to do to my body, I will still be fundamentally the same person so those things shouldn’t be that big a deal to anyone else. They’re a big deal to me to be able to feel how I want to feel, but don’t affect anyone else.
I’m sure this is nonsense and I’m just trying to convince myself that it will be fine telling my wife because hey, it’s not that big a thing, don’t worry about it.
Of course it is though, and that’s the reality.
But it’s not as big a thing as I imagine she will perceive it as. And that’s a problem.
So yes, I do need to take it very seriously and treat it with the gravity it deserves.
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