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27th February - conversation with a colleague, but not THAT conversation

In the office today and a white shirt is not conducive to hiding a pink bra top under, so after two full days of feeling that feminine sensation all the time, I'm back to not.  

One of my colleagues wanted to talk about her future and the team and stuff, so we went out for coffee together to talk for a couple of hours which was really good.  We have worked closely together for a few years now, so there is trust and we are pretty good friends.  This is good, but it does have the slight drawback that she can tell if I'm not feeling very positive and when I'm down.  

Our conversation was quite future-focused and on my role and maybe alternatives.  We did touch on what we might do if we weren't doing this, and then she asked me what I really wanted to do and what I wish for from my future and how I can be happy.  

And I really wanted to tell her!

It was actually harder to stop myself from coming out, than I think it would be to have done so.  

This is, I would guess, a good sign that I am feeling in a good place and ready to take some next steps.  

I'm confident that she would be supportive and probably not even surprised, so it wasn't that which stopped me.  

I just feel that I have to be fair to my wife, and that means that she needs to be the person I come out to first, and it would be unfair to start going around telling other people before I've spoken to her.  

So I know what I need to do, and I think the day is getting closer when I am going to be able to.   

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