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27 January - shopping for underwear

One of the problems of not yet speaking to my wife about my transness is that I can’t just pop my female underwear in the laundry basket with all my other clothes. It’s not that I expect her to do all my laundry by the way, we don’t do stereotypical gender roles in our house (I wonder why?!) but she does tend to do it more often than I do and set it going whilst I’m working. I’m quite surprised that she hasn’t yet noticed that I have put no male underwear in the laundry for a month to be honest. But even if she isn’t paying it much attention, a pile of women’s knickers is probably going to get her wondering. 

As a result, I have got to the end of my supply. 

I was in town today for a meeting so I had the opportunity to go to the shop and get some more. 

The lingerie department used to be such a big thing to enter as a man. It always felt forbidden to me to go in. But also fascinating and exciting with all the variety of colours and styles and shapes. When I was younger and didn’t really know who I was, I would go and have a look sometimes and buy different kinds of lingerie to experiment. It was exciting but it also scared me. I felt everyone was staring at me, and they must know that I was shopping for myself and judge me as some sort of deviant. I actually overheard one girl whisper to her friend “gay” and pointing at me when I was choosing something once. 

Now though, I just don’t care that I am conspicuous. Because I see myself as a woman I feel that I have the right to be shopping for myself here. And whatever other people might be assuming, I know that I’m not there for any kind of kink, I’m getting a multipack of boring everyday knickers because that is what I wear everyday as a woman. I’m actually there for the same reason as they are, to get a necessity. 

So it was fine as an experience. Functional. I got two more packs of five, in a variety of colours. That will sort me out for another ten days but I’m going to have to talk to my wife soon as I can’t just keep getting more and more pairs! 

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