Skip to main content

27 January - shopping for underwear

One of the problems of not yet speaking to my wife about my transness is that I can’t just pop my female underwear in the laundry basket with all my other clothes. It’s not that I expect her to do all my laundry by the way, we don’t do stereotypical gender roles in our house (I wonder why?!) but she does tend to do it more often than I do and set it going whilst I’m working. I’m quite surprised that she hasn’t yet noticed that I have put no male underwear in the laundry for a month to be honest. But even if she isn’t paying it much attention, a pile of women’s knickers is probably going to get her wondering. 

As a result, I have got to the end of my supply. 

I was in town today for a meeting so I had the opportunity to go to the shop and get some more. 

The lingerie department used to be such a big thing to enter as a man. It always felt forbidden to me to go in. But also fascinating and exciting with all the variety of colours and styles and shapes. When I was younger and didn’t really know who I was, I would go and have a look sometimes and buy different kinds of lingerie to experiment. It was exciting but it also scared me. I felt everyone was staring at me, and they must know that I was shopping for myself and judge me as some sort of deviant. I actually overheard one girl whisper to her friend “gay” and pointing at me when I was choosing something once. 

Now though, I just don’t care that I am conspicuous. Because I see myself as a woman I feel that I have the right to be shopping for myself here. And whatever other people might be assuming, I know that I’m not there for any kind of kink, I’m getting a multipack of boring everyday knickers because that is what I wear everyday as a woman. I’m actually there for the same reason as they are, to get a necessity. 

So it was fine as an experience. Functional. I got two more packs of five, in a variety of colours. That will sort me out for another ten days but I’m going to have to talk to my wife soon as I can’t just keep getting more and more pairs! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

23 Sep 24 - great podcast: Straight Wife Trans Life

I’ve been listening in the car to a podcast called Straight Wife Trans Life. My friend Dee (another closeted married trans woman) recommended.  The podcast is presented by the wife of a trans woman who came out to her after they had been married for thirteen years, she having previously had no idea that her husband was trans.  Series 1 tells the story of their first year from disclosure on New Year’s Eve through coming out to family, friends, their kid, and beginning transition.   Liese (the presenter) is really honest. She was not ok with the news and admits she reacted badly. Eventually she decided that they would stay together as married friends, but she is very clear that she is straight and isn’t going to change for her spouse. She uses the term spouse, as she doesn’t accept that she has a wife, and in referring to their marriage, she talks of her husband, as that was what she had at the time.  She is upset when her spouse claims to have always been a woman, bec...
3 comments
Read more

9 Feb 2025 - another week of ups and downs

Another week of ups and downs.  I did go out in a skirt, which was nice but just going around shops dressed female is something I have done quite a few times now and I don’t think I gain much from it in terms of real life experience.  Nothing new anyway.  Since I got the new first crop tops on Wednesday I have been wearing them at home every evening when I change after work and all weekend. Maybe the size 12 is a little tight and I should have got the 14, but it stays where it should and doesn’t ride up like my other less structured crop tops when I raise my arms or do something active.  Yesterday I had enough time to do a quick white wash of a couple of tops, a vest, the short nightdress and a few pairs of knickers. I even managed to iron the top and nightdress today, before my wife got up.  Having dinner last night, I was a bit hot, it being a curry, so I took my jumper off. I’m a bit nervous wearing just one layer over the crop top as you can see the outline ...
Post a Comment
Read more

10 Oct 24 - resilience

I had lunch today with my peer mentor and one of the things we spoke about was resilience and where it comes from.  I know that I am very resilient but I have no idea how or why.  We could both talk about how we maintain it through sleep and diet and exercise and reflection but that is just maintenance, not the source.  I could probably add journalling to the list of activities as I do find benefit in this.  Maybe I could also add being trans. Having this whole secret dimension to who I am and having to challenge myself to do scary things must surely help to build my inner strength.  The other major factor in that is that I have to do it all alone.  I have no support or help, so the strength can only come from me. Not just in a trans context either. Because I am different and don’t fit in with any particular group, I feel as an outsider everywhere so have no support in anything. That sounds bad, but I think it’s good for self-reliance and inner strength to ...
1 comment
Read more