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24 January - semi-openness with a colleague

Having talked yesterday about whether I can transition and hope to progress my career, my feeling today is that I'd probably rather be me. 

I work closely with a woman in my team and we get on quite well.  I haven't come out to her or anything like that, but I have been able to share a few little things and she is encouraging. 

We were talking today about hair, as I had to rearrange an appointment to work around a meeting, and she asked why I am going to get it cut if I want long hair.  I replied that it needs tidying and levelling up as the front and back are mis-matched, and that it's far more complicated than just hair.  This is a long way from coming out or sharing who I am, but dropping a hint.   

We have talked about hair before and she knows that I would like to grow it out to a bob, like actor Jodie Whittaker has in Dr Who.  Funny, I had forgotten that I had told her that. I am still surprised that I would have, because telling someone that I want a female hairstyle is not the sort of thing that men in the office are expected to do.  Obviously.  

She thinks me getting hair like Jodie is a great idea and encourages me to go for it.  This is great, because having a close colleague who thought I was weird would be a bad thing!  She has also noticed that I've grown my finger nails.  

I have my new hair appointment next week.  

Each time it comes around, my heart wants to go full-femme, my doubting side tells me I should forget the whole trans fantasy and get it cut short and masculine.  

This time, I think I shall take my colleagues advice, get it trimmed and levelled up, then just let it grow.  


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