Skip to main content

10 June - top hat

I may not be actively doing anything about gender or transitioning but mentally and emotionally I am feeling positive about it. 

The slightly odd title to this post is literal - I have need of a top hat. Most years I go with work and clients to Royal Ascot which is in a week or so. I don’t particularly like horse racing to be honest, but I do enjoy champagne and a day out of the office so it has its compensations. One of the requirements, and part of the charm of the event, is the dress code. Hence the need to hire a top hat and tails. 

It’s on expenses so doesn’t really matter to me, but I do think that in the long run, if I am going every year, buying my own would be better, except that wouldn’t be on expenses, that would be my cost. But I could get something less obviously a standard hire suit. 

This was in my mind when I went to book the hire. Maybe I should buy one? 

What I really wish I could do, obviously to us anyway, is follow the ladies’ dress code and wear a beautiful dress. 

Buying a gentleman’s outfit for future years would be saying to myself that I will always be going as a man. Or more importantly, that I don’t believe I will ever be going as a woman. 

That may be true even if I have transitioned this time next year as I am not sure our clients would be open to inviting me in a dress to be honest. 

It would be amazing though, to go to an event like that wearing a gorgeous dress and feeling fabulous and being seen. 

Maybe next year…or the year after. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

23 Sep 24 - great podcast: Straight Wife Trans Life

I’ve been listening in the car to a podcast called Straight Wife Trans Life. My friend Dee (another closeted married trans woman) recommended.  The podcast is presented by the wife of a trans woman who came out to her after they had been married for thirteen years, she having previously had no idea that her husband was trans.  Series 1 tells the story of their first year from disclosure on New Year’s Eve through coming out to family, friends, their kid, and beginning transition.   Liese (the presenter) is really honest. She was not ok with the news and admits she reacted badly. Eventually she decided that they would stay together as married friends, but she is very clear that she is straight and isn’t going to change for her spouse. She uses the term spouse, as she doesn’t accept that she has a wife, and in referring to their marriage, she talks of her husband, as that was what she had at the time.  She is upset when her spouse claims to have always been a woman, bec...

9 Feb 2025 - another week of ups and downs

Another week of ups and downs.  I did go out in a skirt, which was nice but just going around shops dressed female is something I have done quite a few times now and I don’t think I gain much from it in terms of real life experience.  Nothing new anyway.  Since I got the new first crop tops on Wednesday I have been wearing them at home every evening when I change after work and all weekend. Maybe the size 12 is a little tight and I should have got the 14, but it stays where it should and doesn’t ride up like my other less structured crop tops when I raise my arms or do something active.  Yesterday I had enough time to do a quick white wash of a couple of tops, a vest, the short nightdress and a few pairs of knickers. I even managed to iron the top and nightdress today, before my wife got up.  Having dinner last night, I was a bit hot, it being a curry, so I took my jumper off. I’m a bit nervous wearing just one layer over the crop top as you can see the outline ...

10 Oct 24 - resilience

I had lunch today with my peer mentor and one of the things we spoke about was resilience and where it comes from.  I know that I am very resilient but I have no idea how or why.  We could both talk about how we maintain it through sleep and diet and exercise and reflection but that is just maintenance, not the source.  I could probably add journalling to the list of activities as I do find benefit in this.  Maybe I could also add being trans. Having this whole secret dimension to who I am and having to challenge myself to do scary things must surely help to build my inner strength.  The other major factor in that is that I have to do it all alone.  I have no support or help, so the strength can only come from me. Not just in a trans context either. Because I am different and don’t fit in with any particular group, I feel as an outsider everywhere so have no support in anything. That sounds bad, but I think it’s good for self-reliance and inner strength to ...