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8 January - not every day is about gender

Obviously gender is quite a big thing in my life but some days, it’s not at the forefront of my mind and I’m just getting on with stuff. Today was one of those days I suppose. 

I have still maintained my small acts of femininity: I am wearing female underwear and always sitting to pee. These are habits now and are how I am expressing being a woman to myself. Where they were quite a big deal to begin with, now it is just my normal and fades into the background and out of mind. 

This morning was a bit of a risk. I was up first as usual and put on a dressing gown / Bath robe rather than get properly dressed before breakfast. This is knee length so my smooth hairless lower legs were on show. My wife came down whilst I was having a coffee and we spoke for a while before I went upstairs to shower. Having always had very hairy legs, my sudden smoothness would take some explaining. Well it would if she had noticed. On the one hand, it’s good that I didn’t get caught out, but on the other, I am actually a little upset that she pays me so little attention that she didn’t see it!  

Other than that though, today I have not really thought much about being male or female, I’ve just been doing stuff. Maybe that’s how it is for cis people I suppose, they don’t think about gender much probably. And perhaps that is how life is post transition. Whilst one is building up to it and going through it, gender is everything or at least feels that way. But once transition has happened and life becomes normal again, does gender go to the back of the mind and barely get thought about?  I’m already seeing this to some extent with the things which I have normalised for myself, and how they have gone from conscious decisions to just something I do and how things are now. 

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