Skip to main content
Welcome

Hi there! I’m “New Maiden” and this is my journey.

And a “new maiden” is what exactly?
That’s a good question, thanks for asking.
A maiden is a girl. In history or literature usually a young unmarried woman or girl.
So...I’m a girl.
And new, means well, new. Has come into being but was not before.
Sorry, confused?
Oh well, put simply: am a boy, wish I’m a girl, so created “me”!
I like the idea of being a maiden (I’m thinking medieval princess) and I’m all new. Hence, “new maiden”.
And I had to call the blog something, right?

And my journey?
Journeys have a beginning and a destination, so where are they?
Well the beginning I can tell you about.
The destination, I don’t know yet!
I’ve set out without a clear idea of where I’m going.
Come with me and we can find out together where I go.

And “maiden journey” (or maiden voyage or flight) is a phrase for the first trip/sailing/flight of a new vehicle/ship/aircraft so that’s kind of appropriate too.

If you’re wondering if this is a blog about transgender or transexual, or about cross-dressing or transvestism or just feeling confused, well it might be any of those things. Or it might not. That’s kind of the point because I’m on a journey, those things may be possible routes the journey could take but right now, I honestly couldn’t say either way. So maybe it is about feeling confused!
It’s also another reason I’m describing myself as a “maiden” rather than heading this as a “tran...whatever” journey because I don’t know that yet.

Blogging is part of the journey too. It doesn’t really matter if no one ever reads this. I’ll get some kind of therapy from trying to write things down in a logical order and trying to make sense of it. Obviously I could do that privately but secretly thinking about my secret is not really making progress. Also, if someone with similar feelings reads this and feels a bit less “different” and is able to short cut some steps by learning from things I’ve done the hard way, then that would be a good thing too.

That’s enough of an introduction for now. My plan is to write along two main themes: my back story; and how my journey progresses. The back story I know, but the journey bit, I’ll be finding out pretty much the same time as you the reader.

Do please leave a comment and share your own experiences. It would be comforting to know that I’m not the only person who feels this way!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

23 Sep 2025 - a handbag?

I have not been out presenting female in public for about six months which is a long time.   The last time was my trip to London when I went out to the bar and dinner, which felt great, and to breakfast in the hotel which was less successful. At that time, I felt confident and like I could do this.   Following my wife catching me out with some of my underwear, I cut my hair, put away my clothes and didn’t do anything for a while. It seems my confidence got lost in that too, because when I started thinking about going out dressed again, I felt really nervous about it.  Probably doesn’t help that the anti-trans lobby had successes during this time and it feels a less safe thing to be doing now than it did six months ago.  Whatever the reason, I was pretty scared this time.  The biggest mental hurdle is around changing from male to female clothing, as I have to leave the office and arrive at the mall in male clothing, then be back in male clothing to go home so...
Post a Comment
Read more

27 May 26 - does my brain actually have a “girl mode”?

As I keep reflecting on my night out as Nicola last week there are a lot of questions and ideas that are swirling around in my head.  One is, whether my brain has a “girl mode”, because I felt so different and behaved in ways that were unfamiliar to me.  The really distinct difference in how I felt this time was that I didn’t feel like I was a man in a dress at all, I just felt like me. I remember thinking that this is what it is like to be “inhabiting womanhood”. Evidently I have ridiculously pretentious notions after a few drinks, but it was what I was feeling. This is what it is like to actually be a woman. Less pretentious.  An odd thing, but one which does make me wonder if my brain has some kind of “switch”, is that I looked at women differently. I am exclusively attracted to women and I am attracted to boobs and bums as much as the next man (cringe at associating with being a man). I know it is impolite to stare at a woman’s chest, and I make a conscious effort no...
Post a Comment
Read more

21 May 2026 - a night out

Having a night on my own in London, I wanted to go out presenting female and get some more “real life experience”.  I had drinks and dinner with some colleagues early evening and to be honest had already had too much wine before I went out later by myself. This probably helped my confidence, although not my coordination with nail polish and mascara, which were a bit slapdash to say the least.  I remember last year getting in a lift in the hotel in a dress ready to go out, and being self conscious of people staring at me. This time, didn’t give it a thought. Likewise going into the underground and being on the train with other people. I didn’t notice if anyone looked at me and nor did I care. I was just me being me and wearing a skirt didn’t feel like a Thing, I wasn’t conscious of my clothes at all.  Similarly walking through a busy Soho to the bar, I just felt like I normally do walking around town.  Got to She Soho. Amazingly the bouncer asked me for ID. I’m 51...
Post a Comment
Read more