Skip to main content
Welcome

Hi there! I’m “New Maiden” and this is my journey.

And a “new maiden” is what exactly?
That’s a good question, thanks for asking.
A maiden is a girl. In history or literature usually a young unmarried woman or girl.
So...I’m a girl.
And new, means well, new. Has come into being but was not before.
Sorry, confused?
Oh well, put simply: am a boy, wish I’m a girl, so created “me”!
I like the idea of being a maiden (I’m thinking medieval princess) and I’m all new. Hence, “new maiden”.
And I had to call the blog something, right?

And my journey?
Journeys have a beginning and a destination, so where are they?
Well the beginning I can tell you about.
The destination, I don’t know yet!
I’ve set out without a clear idea of where I’m going.
Come with me and we can find out together where I go.

And “maiden journey” (or maiden voyage or flight) is a phrase for the first trip/sailing/flight of a new vehicle/ship/aircraft so that’s kind of appropriate too.

If you’re wondering if this is a blog about transgender or transexual, or about cross-dressing or transvestism or just feeling confused, well it might be any of those things. Or it might not. That’s kind of the point because I’m on a journey, those things may be possible routes the journey could take but right now, I honestly couldn’t say either way. So maybe it is about feeling confused!
It’s also another reason I’m describing myself as a “maiden” rather than heading this as a “tran...whatever” journey because I don’t know that yet.

Blogging is part of the journey too. It doesn’t really matter if no one ever reads this. I’ll get some kind of therapy from trying to write things down in a logical order and trying to make sense of it. Obviously I could do that privately but secretly thinking about my secret is not really making progress. Also, if someone with similar feelings reads this and feels a bit less “different” and is able to short cut some steps by learning from things I’ve done the hard way, then that would be a good thing too.

That’s enough of an introduction for now. My plan is to write along two main themes: my back story; and how my journey progresses. The back story I know, but the journey bit, I’ll be finding out pretty much the same time as you the reader.

Do please leave a comment and share your own experiences. It would be comforting to know that I’m not the only person who feels this way!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

27 May 26 - does my brain actually have a “girl mode”?

As I keep reflecting on my night out as Nicola last week there are a lot of questions and ideas that are swirling around in my head.  One is, whether my brain has a “girl mode”, because I felt so different and behaved in ways that were unfamiliar to me.  The really distinct difference in how I felt this time was that I didn’t feel like I was a man in a dress at all, I just felt like me. I remember thinking that this is what it is like to be “inhabiting womanhood”. Evidently I have ridiculously pretentious notions after a few drinks, but it was what I was feeling. This is what it is like to actually be a woman. Less pretentious.  An odd thing, but one which does make me wonder if my brain has some kind of “switch”, is that I looked at women differently. I am exclusively attracted to women and I am attracted to boobs and bums as much as the next man (cringe at associating with being a man). I know it is impolite to stare at a woman’s chest, and I make a conscious effort no...
Post a Comment
Read more

21 May 2026 - a night out

Having a night on my own in London, I wanted to go out presenting female and get some more “real life experience”.  I had drinks and dinner with some colleagues early evening and to be honest had already had too much wine before I went out later by myself. This probably helped my confidence, although not my coordination with nail polish and mascara, which were a bit slapdash to say the least.  I remember last year getting in a lift in the hotel in a dress ready to go out, and being self conscious of people staring at me. This time, didn’t give it a thought. Likewise going into the underground and being on the train with other people. I didn’t notice if anyone looked at me and nor did I care. I was just me being me and wearing a skirt didn’t feel like a Thing, I wasn’t conscious of my clothes at all.  Similarly walking through a busy Soho to the bar, I just felt like I normally do walking around town.  Got to She Soho. Amazingly the bouncer asked me for ID. I’m 51...
Post a Comment
Read more

31 Dec 25 - reflecting on the past year

I could see 2025 as a failure.  After all, I started the year with the intention to begin my transition. I still haven’t started.  I made initial contact with the endocrinologist clinic about feminising hormone therapy, but then didn’t progress that at all as soon as I encountered the blood test hurdle.  Here at the beginning of 2026, I am no closer to living as a woman than I was at the beginning of 2025. I have not come out to anyone, I don’t have a hormone prescription, my body is still male, my presentation is still full time male, everyone still knows me only as my male name.  Has the longing to be a woman gone away because I haven’t done anything about it? No. Obviously.  Although I have not begun transitioning, I have achieved a couple of things this year.  One is that I survived my wife catching me out and finding a pair of knickers that I had forgotten to hide. It was awful, and she was terribly upset, but I got through it and that is somethi...
Post a Comment
Read more