Maiden’s Journey

 This is a question I ask myself all the time.  And having spent some time reading posts from the trans community on Twitter it is clear that I am not alone in wondering this. In fact, someone tweeted that their therapist had quipped that it is such a common question among trans people that it is practically a symptom of transness.  So why do we all keep wondering this?  It is partly Imposter Syndrome for sure, doubting whether I am qualified to be part of the trans community. Others have said similar, so that seems to be a common feeling too.  The usual response from the community to someone questioning whether they are trans enough is to say that if you ask the question then you are, and it’s not for anyone else to say how trans you need to be.  I don’t think that quite nails it though.  They’re right in so far that if you’re asking the question then you are certainly somewhere on the trans spectrum, but that doesn’t deal with the “enough” part....

First contact with a real girl that is.  Apologies that this post will contain some reference to mild sexual experiences but I will try to be delicate.  As I have mentioned in other posts, in my teenage years I was as attracted to girls as the next boy, but I was also very much attracted to the idea of being them, although at the time I had no idea this was not “normal” and maybe signified something about me.  Unfortunately I had little to no success in getting a girlfriend. Ok, let’s be honest: no success. At all. Maybe I wasn’t masculine enough! Hmm.  I was fourteen before I first kissed a girl. We met at the ice rink, skated together and chatted and then before she had to go home, we “snogged”. I had zero experience so had to follow her lead and she was rather vigorous in her kissing. Forceful even, and pushed her tongue well into my mouth. Frankly, I feared she might eat me. Nice to get a score on the board, but I cannot say that I enjoyed the experience. You hav...